Kuala Mu or Bust!

By Fuji "Rainman" Bakri.

"Kuala Moo? Where's that?" I asked.

"Not Kuala Moo, Kuala Mu" answered Sany."The Knights are doing a recce up there.42km climb, one night of camping and 42km back downhill.Wanna go?"

"42km downhill? Sure!"

The rest, as they say, is history. And what an epic it was.

I'm not too sure how Kuala Mu got its name except that it is at the confluence of two rivers, Sungai Piah and some other river.It is an Orang Asli village described as having "19 huts on stilts, a school, a dewan (hall) and an Orang Asli Affairs Department office". Definitely not the Mandarin Oriental. The topo maps of the area are restricted issue and so I had to depend on whatever info I could glean from my government road maps and the internet. There wasn't much more info floating around.

"Malaria!" shouted Boon Foo at me down the phone. "I heard you're going to Kuala Mu. There's Malaria in them thar hills!" Turns out Boon Foo had been there on his way to Gunung Yong Yap in his mountaineering days. Yong Yap is incidentally one of the 7 peaks in Peninsular Malaysia over 7,000 feet tall. Kuala Mu is the staging point for the 2-3 day hike to Yong Yap.

The doctor I saw didn't seem to be too fazed about the Malaria risk. Didn't even want to give me a prescription until I insisted. However, the prescription proved impossible to fill at such short notice, especially since one had to start taking the pills one week before potential exposure. A quick call to Pat Brunsdon located a better-stocked doctor. Klinik Bandaraya in Bangsar Baru, by the way.

And so it was that Sany, Pat, William, Chew and I were to meet up with the Knights in Sungai Siput Utara on Saturday morning. William drove up separately. Pat went up with Karen on Friday and would meet us in Ipoh Saturday morning to carpool. Chew, Sany and I would drive up to Ipoh in two cars Friday night after work and bring Pat back to KL with us after the ride.

Friday afternoon came and Chew dropped the bomb. He was down with the flu and couldn't make it! Major bummer since he had been looking forward to the 42km downhill more than I had.

Time for Plan B. This involved throwing an extra bike carrier on my Impreza after a frantic search at home for the D-bolts to fit it to my aero cross-bars. Suffice to say I spent a fruitless half-hour looking for the bolts and got stuck in a massive traffic jam on the way over to Bikepro. Luckily Boon Foo had extra D-bolts and Lim was kind and patient enough to help fit the extra carrier to the car waay past 8pm.

"Stay cool, man," said Mazlim, "You're going on a holiday!" That's how frazzled I was.

I rushed home, packed up the car and headed to Sany's to pick him and his gear up. Dinner at Burger King, some last minute convenience shopping and a stop to gas up the car at Projet and we hit the Duta toll at about 10.30pm.

Midnight and we were in downtown Ipoh, looking for the Seri Malaysia Hotel. A quick u-turn and we followed the signs through darkened streets to our lodging for the night. Clean and comfortable place, I must say, but I only snatched a couple of hour's sleep due to the special performance by Maestro Sany's Symphony Orchestra.

Pat was there at 6 am on the dot and we pushed off towards Sungai Siput Utara at 6.15 am. When we got there we learned that the Knights' convoy had been delayed and so we sat down for a leisurely breakfast. We RV'd at the Caltex station with the Knights, gassed up the cars and headed off for Lasah town, where the ride would begin.

Ah Hee was waiting for us there. The plan was for us to ride up while our luggage and supplies for the overnight stay went up in Ah Hee's Hi-Lux. Ah Hee had been providing this shuttle service for many years and his name and number can even be found on the internet. Azmi and ST would provide support from Azmi's Ranger while Halim would ride with Ah Hee and set up the campsite.

Before we left we were shown some dirty pictures by ST. Seems that they had been there three years ago and had to put up with axle deep mud most of the way. Only three riders made it on two wheels to Kuala Mu. Ulp! Too late to turn back now!

Briefing time. The ride was divided into four sections. First, 6km of tarmac. Then 20km of rolling dirt road. Next up, 12km of serious climbing followed by the final 4km downhill to Kuala Mu. Net elevation gain of 500 meters. Not exactly straight up and down though, aye?

And so the 18 of us charged off down the tarmac towards the trailhead at 9 am under an overcast sky. An easy 6.5 km spin later we hit the dirt and the first of many climbs. It was about then that I realized that my front brake was a bit soft with the pads engaging when the lever was close to the bars. It was all uphill anyways so I wasn't too worried.

I soon caught up with my riding companions for the most of the rest of the day. We all agreed to ride hand in hand to Kuala Mu. Sany on his Truth, William on his Heckler, Rin on his Id and Sup and Malik on their Bullits. My Superlight was the lightest of the lot! The dirt road undulated up and down but we were gaining altitude slowly but surely. We passed by clusters of Orang Asli kampungs. The kids turned out in full force to watch the city slickers ride past on their fancy two-wheeled machines. They probably thought we were a bit crazy. A couple of guys in pick up trucks asked us where we were headed. They rolled their eyes when we told them.

A while later and the group got a little strung out on a climb. I squeezed the front brake repeatedly to see if the hydraulics would pump up. Perhaps one time too many as the bike came to a sudden halt and I keeled over sideways, still clipped in to my Eggbeaters. Sup and Malik came across me lying on the ground on my left side and laughing.

Then we heard a sound that stopped the laughter. I'd heard it before in Taman Negara. It was a San Tai Wong, a 10wd timber truck, and it was closing fast. And here I was still sprawled all over the road, now frantically trying to clip out with little success (Eggbeater owners know the feeling). Sup solved the problem by undoing the velcro on my right shoe. With my foot free I propped myself up, clipped out of my left pedal and hopped along with the bike to the side of the trail.

The San Tai Wong came around the corner, heading uphill fast. And strapped to its cargo bed was a Caterpillar D7 Bulldozer! We waved at the driver and his passenger and they waved back. Phew! Close call!

At 28.5km's we hit the junction that marked the beginning of the climb, just after Kampung Keeb. Sup, who had recce'd the ride the week earlier with Azmi and ST in the Ranger called a lunch break here. We could hear what sounded like a waterfall just a little bit further ahead but Sup insisted that we stop right where we were. Ok, he was the expert, after all. Peanut Butter sandwiches, dates, bananas, chocolates, 100 Plus and lots of water went down the hatch as we bs'd with each other and contemplated what lay ahead. We were more than halfway done, after all.

"Let's go!" said Sup and off we went towards the sound of rushing water. It turned out to be a big deep river which was traversed via a log bridge covered in packed dirt. We followed the trail as it curved to the right and then I realized that I was looking at the proverbial wall. The road went straight up, reaching for the grey clouds hanging low in the sky, it seemed. Ah! No wonder Sup stopped us around the corner!

Granny gear time! The surface was hard packed but there were ruts here and there and some marbles on the surface as well. I spun out after rounding a corner just as Ah Hee came bouncing down the road in the opposite direction, his duty done for the day.

The sun began poking out from the clouds and I began to suffer. William and Sup were already pushing. I ground on for another couple of hundred meters before I too got off the bike and started pushing. William, who had gotten as much sleep as I did the night before, began dropping back and started cramping up. I came across the rest of the gang waiting at the top of one particularly steep pitch and collapsed in the shade.

Rin walked downhill to help William up. And we were only 3km into the climb! The break in the shade helped everyone recover a bit.

The support truck was nowhere in sight so we had no choice but to push on. Literally, in some cases. The climb finally gave way to a short flying downhill. Which led to the foot of another climb! I lost track of the number of these deceptive downhills after 6. Each climb took us higher and higher. The downhills gave us a brief respite from the pain of climbing but were dangerous as they were fast and filled with ruts and loose gravel and we were also tired and losing our concentration. I resorted to counting one number for every breath I took as I cranked uphill just to keep my mind off the pain in my legs and butt.

Sany began to cramp up quite badly at the top of one climb. Rin sensed the desperation of the situation and charged on up the trail to look for the support truck. I snarfed down my last Squeezy gel and that seemed to help things for about, oh, 15 minutes. We slogged on, grumbling all the way.

I remembered what Eric Teo had told me after the "Warm-up" ride at the KOTRT Jamboree last October. "Kita sudah kena con,bugger!" I began to feel the same way except that I'd signed up for this voluntarily. Eric's next words to me were "Aiyo! Like this koyaklah bugger!" I was feeling that way for sure now.

Several more steep pitches and it was 3.30 pm. We told Malik to press on as he was in much better shape than the four of us put together. My cyclocomputer was reading 39 km and we should have been heading downhill already! It began to drizzle very lightly as we collapsed beside the trail halfway up a climb. While I was eating my last banana and contemplating whether I really wanted to crack open a Powerbar, we heard the familiar drone of a turbodiesel engine. The White Ranger rounded the bend and came downhill towards us.

It was about bloody time!

"You're almost at the top of the ridge" said Azmi while handing us cold 100 Plus'. I'd heard that one before. "Really!"

Well, we'd come this far on our bikes. Surely we could make it a little further. Besides, if we climbed into the truck, word would spread far and wide the minute we got back to civilization. We'd probably never live down the shame and have to change our names and emigrate to Singapore or something.

We climbed onto our bikes and began cranking uphill again. Sure enough, 1km later the trail turned downhill. The continuous drizzle had now turned the hard-packed trail surface slick as ice. The final long, steep downhill was fast and treacherous and made even more so by my spongy front brake and the fact that my rear brake lever began to pump up, causing the rear wheel to lock instantly if I touched the lever.

I stopped to let the rear brake cool off a bit and then rolled on downhill with Sup watching my back. A couple of stops later we hit the valley floor and Orang Asli villages, which had been conspicuously absent for the past 16km.

It was almost 4.30pm when we rolled into Kuala Mu with my cyclocomputer reading 45.5km. There was a football field, a rather large school and several brick and mortar buildings along with clusters of Orang Asli houses. The village seemed to be very clean and well groomed. Much better than I had pictured it.

The village headman, or Penghulu, had given us a dilapidated canteen building to use. It had a roof, concrete floors and three walls. The back wall was solid while the other two walls were waist high with wire mesh reaching up to the ceiling. All our gear was in the building and everyone else was lounging around. The Orang Asli kids were standing along the outside of one wall, watching our every move in silence.

Then I heard the bad news. Pat had arrived at Kuala Mu at around 12.15 pm. Sheesh! Boy were we slow!

We parked our bikes, peeled off our wet gear and sat down for a while. Then it was bath time. We made our way on foot through the village upstream to the waterfall entertained by music from an unknown source. There was quite a lot to see during our walk through the village. Little puppies, a kitten, tapioca stored on shelves outside each house, a sled made out of a palm frond with two japanese slipper soles nailed on as "seats" next to a grassy slope with sled tracks leading to the bottom.

I was so busy looking around the village that I almost walked into a metal pole. I looked up and saw wires leading from the pole to the house next to it. I looked up further and realized there was a solar panel right at the top of the pole. Not bad at all for a village this far in the interior.

The water at the waterfall was the color of tea. Probably because of the rain or some logging upstream. It was freezing cold, too. We all jumped in and did the necessary in record time. We could see the log bridge that led to Yong Yap just a little bit further upstream.

Once we were all cleaned up it was time to present the Penghulu with the "buah tangan" or gifts that we had brought for his village as a token of appreciation for allowing us to stay overnight. Various types of medicine, baby formula and chocolate for the kids were handed over in front of the KOTRT banner, which was hung under the only sign for Kuala Mu.

Then, it was time to prepare for dinner. Halim, Malik and Su Aun, the only rose among the thorns, got working in our makeshift kitchen. The rest of us were entertained by the local kids playing sepak takraw on the court in front of our lodgings while munching on ground nuts. Again, we had a large audience of kids watching the goings on in the kitchen.

Fried sardines, chicken curry and mixed vegetables were laid out on the tailgate of the Ranger with nasi kawah. Yummy! As we were eating, some of the Orang Asli came by to sell us Tongkat Ali, the root which has the properties of Viagra®. Soon some unnamed persons were haggling with him and the entire bundle was purchased for RM30. That set off a chain reaction of events, which saw everyone in Kuala Mu with any Tongkat Ali to sell making a beeline for our humble shack, little kids included. Can't say who bought 'em (wink, wink) but suffice to say that we probably cleaned out Kuala Mu of its supply of Tongkat Ali that night.

As the chefs prepared the second course for the night, fried chicken drumsticks, we began setting up for bedtime. Three tents had been pitched outside for those inclined to get "back to nature" while the rest of us would sleep in the shack. We rearranged our gear and those lucky enough to have them assembled their camp beds. Pretty nifty, these. Felt like we were still at home.

The first round of fried chicken was devoured in seconds but the second round was donated by many to the Orang Asli kids who had been standing and watching us for the past three or four hours. Boy were they happy. The scrawny dogs who had been hanging about weren't too happy, though.

Funny thing about the village was that it was all dark, despite the solar power. That was until some one drove up in a 4x4 to the Penghulu's house. Then they started their karaoke jam session which didn't stop until after I fell asleep later that night.

Just as we were about to go to sleep, up walked a guy with a baseball cap turned backwards. He seemed eager to talk and talk we did, although I was really sleepy. Told us about the area, the Orang Asli tribe, his love for scramblers, the local malaria clinic (which caught Pat's attention even though he couldn't understand a word we were saying) and how Samy Vellu was visiting Kuala Mu next week, among other things. That was why everything looked spruced up. This guy was a Malay from the lowlands who had an Orang Asli wife and was at Kuala Mu to build a badminton court before Samy's visit. Lucky for us he wasn't building a toll gate. We gave him a couple of Panadol when he complained of some pain in his side and shortly thereafter he got up to leave. He left us with a subtle warning to keep the mosquito coils lit and to be wary of any strange happenings that night. We were out in the jungle, after all.

I must say that that warning kept some of the guys awake most of the night. I myself slept like a log except when I had to go pee (once) and chase off the stray dogs who were trying to get at our trash and food (twice). Pat said that the night was like the campfire scene from "Blazing Saddles!", complete with snoring, belching, farting and smoke from the mosquito coils.

Morning came and we all geared up for the ride out. Breakfast was fried eggs, bread, bananas and dates. I managed to snag some salmon sandwich spread from Azmi but by that time we had run out of plain bread and I had to eat it with the Gardenia wild berry bread that we had brought from KL. Weird taste, to say the least.

Ah Hee came bouncing into Kuala Mu at 9.00 am sharp. We packed up our gear, loaded it into the truck and took the obligatory group photographs before pedaling out of Kuala Mu, waving at the kids who had come to see us off.

Right from the start my front brake began making horrible dragging sounds. That added to my burden and I began to sweat profusely. All this at 9.30 am and at an elevation of 600 meters. I was in for a long day, especially since I was so knackered from the previous days' ride.

Sany, Malik and Rin took off up the first steep incline, leaving Sup, William and myself to push. Shortly thereafter William shot off like a rocket while Malik kept stopping to make sure that the back markers were ok. And so it went, pedal and push up the first big climb, followed by a hair-raising descent down the damp, hardpacked fire road with my rear brake pumping up and my front brake practically ineffective. How ineffective? I sailed past Sup and Malik at one point with my front lever all the way to the bars, and I wasn't slowing down one bit. Whee!

After a long haul with more riding than pushing, we reached the top of the final monster 3km downhill to Kampung Keeb. I didn't dare look at my speedometer as I chased Malik down the trail. But soon enough I began dropping back due to my limited suspension travel and the fact that both of my brakes were now pumping up.

A couple of stops were needed to cool the brakes off before the end of the downhill. The ride down was so fast and rough in some places that I saw an ejected water bottle sitting on the trail. I was going too fast to stop but Sup picked it up later.

And so we hit the junction at Kampung Keeb and went flying down through the village. Shortly thereafter we ran into Derek and Su Aun by the side of the trail. Su Aun had taken a fall on the first series of downhills and was taking it easy while Derek had just finished replacing a punctured tube on his brand new Blur. We took a short break and then mounted up.

At this point the trail was still undulating although we were gradually losing altitude. Lucky for me that the road through the Orang Asli villages were all downhill. This saved me from the embarrassment of having the Asli kids laughing at me. We were soon passed by an ancient Series I Land Rover whose driver looked even older than the vehicle he was driving. A little bit later, we came across the same Land Rover blocking the trail with its front left wheel hanging off at a strange angle. The old uncle gunned the engine and pushed the old workhorse to the side of the trail when he saw us. It looked like the axle or tie rods had broken and there was nothing much that we could do so we rode on.

Now the climbing began in earnest once again and my butt began to ache like never before. In addition, Mr Sun had decided to make an appearance too. Sup and I told Malik to carry on with Derek and Su Aun while we took a break. We still had about 16km to go.

"After this ride, no ride is going to be more extreme!" exclaimed Sup. I couldn't agree more. Eventually, we crested the last climb and looked at the scene that lay before us. The road led downhill from here to the tarmac and from there it would be a flat road ride all the way to Lasah. We wasted no time in blasting down the hill and onto the tarmac. A kilometer short of the village we ran into Halim, who had pedaled out to look for us. We were expecting a hero's welcome when we arrived back at the cars but almost everyone was busily packing up their bikes and gear since it was already 2.00 pm.

Pat was the first to arrive in 2 hours and 5 minutes. Dennis, Rin, Sany and William were also in the top 5. It had taken Sup and I 4.5 hours with 3.5 hours of riding time. Pat = Superman! What can I say.

Pat and Sany had been waiting for me at Lasah so that they could load up the car because I had the car keys. But then I reminded Sany that I'd given him a spare set before we left KL. Ooops! I washed up while they loaded up the car and then we were off towards Ipoh for a late lunch at our favorite restaurant in Canning Gardens while the rest of the gang headed back north to Penang. The rest of the drive home was uneventful except for the time when Sany REALLY had to go to the gents and drove at 140 kmh to the nearest rest stop.

In reflection, the Kuala Mu recce was the longest back to back off-road ride that I've ever done, 91km or about 57 miles in two days and probably the hardest too. The elevation profile that Pat sent us would have put me off if I'd seen it before the ride. And I did it all on my Superlight. I take my hat off to those who did it on their 30+ pound Bullits.

Want an extreme ride? Kuala Mu's the name, riding there is the game.

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Wanna see the Kuala mu profile? It's here.....